So, today is one of those days where I feel completely crappy. I try to be positive about everything, but sometimes the positivity kicks my butt. Jennifer Garner said it well in “Juno”: “Have you ever felt like you were just born to do something?.... I was born to be a mother”. All my life I have felt this way – hoping that one day I would get the life-altering opportunity to be a mom. Not just any mom, a great mom.
Today, I just feel rather negative. I hate taking all these drugs, and I haven’t even started the injections yet. Don’t get me wrong: I will do whatever I can to make my dream of being a mom come true, but I wish it were easier for us. I wish that I was one of those super-dee-duper fertile people that got pregnant when my husband just looked in my direction. I am very envious of that. Genetically, I feel like a failure. As a female, I feel like a failure – wondering, “If I can’t have any children because my body refuses to do so, am I still a woman?”
Every part of my being says that this will happen and I won’t have to wait long for it to occur; however, the negativity rears its evil, selfish head every once in a while. This negativity is just a battle. A battle that I am willing to fight and will ultimately win, but until that day comes, prayer and love will have to do.
Sorry to blog your eyes out with my craziness. ☺
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
April 2011 Cycle
Well, we have started! This is our first cycle with the Menopur and Ovidrel injections. For those who don’t know and want to, here is my schedule for this cycle:
Progesterone (Provera) tablets for 10 days
Day 1 – Start cycle (about 3 days after my last Provera pill)
Day 3 - 7 – take 2 Clomid tabs
Day 7 - 9 – inject Menopur (two vials) at night
Day 12 – go to RE’s office for an ultrasound to see if my follicles are big enough and ready. If one is ready, then I take one more injection (Ovidrel)
Day 12 – 15 – If all goes well with the ultrasound, then don’t bother calling us. We will be a bit busy. ☺
I started my Provera tabs on 3.30.11; so, I am still taking them. I really don’t like this part of the cycle. I am always extremely anxious, but don’t feel so hot because of the hormones – I suppose. Not to mention, that because we are getting rid of the proverbial cobwebs, I am not really comfortable until my cycles are completely over (between Day 5 - 9) At any rate, this is my fourth time taking Clomid, which can make you loony as well. GREAT! I bet David is so happy.
Anyway, so, that is how my April is shaping up! Still hoping for our miracle(s).
On another note, we ate at PF Chang’s on Friday. While my fortune was just b-o-r-i-n-g, David’s put a smile on our faces: “ Good News of Long-awaited event will arrive soon.”
Progesterone (Provera) tablets for 10 days
Day 1 – Start cycle (about 3 days after my last Provera pill)
Day 3 - 7 – take 2 Clomid tabs
Day 7 - 9 – inject Menopur (two vials) at night
Day 12 – go to RE’s office for an ultrasound to see if my follicles are big enough and ready. If one is ready, then I take one more injection (Ovidrel)
Day 12 – 15 – If all goes well with the ultrasound, then don’t bother calling us. We will be a bit busy. ☺
I started my Provera tabs on 3.30.11; so, I am still taking them. I really don’t like this part of the cycle. I am always extremely anxious, but don’t feel so hot because of the hormones – I suppose. Not to mention, that because we are getting rid of the proverbial cobwebs, I am not really comfortable until my cycles are completely over (between Day 5 - 9) At any rate, this is my fourth time taking Clomid, which can make you loony as well. GREAT! I bet David is so happy.
Anyway, so, that is how my April is shaping up! Still hoping for our miracle(s).
On another note, we ate at PF Chang’s on Friday. While my fortune was just b-o-r-i-n-g, David’s put a smile on our faces: “ Good News of Long-awaited event will arrive soon.”
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Info on Me
Hi! My name is Constance. I am a 26 year old wife, college graduate, Christian, sister, daughter, friend, aunt, granddaughter, and daughter-in-law. I married my DH David on 12.30.06. His dear mother, Rae, died 27 days before we got married. :( David and I have been together through thick and thin since 3.14.03.
I have a bachelor's degree in English, and I currently work as an international pharmaceutical broker for a specialty pharmacy. We moved to Durham, NC on 2.13.10.
So, here is my PCOS story. When I was 11 years old, I began getting a regular period cycle. Around the time I turned 16 (2000), I started to have an irregular period and unexplained weight gain. About two years later, I went to an OBGYN and told him the issues I was having. He put me on birth control and said the issues were normal and will probably work themselves out later. Knowing something was always wrong, I tried to get him to test me for a disorder every year. Despite begging for eight years, I was never tested for anything - just given birth control pills. On 2.21.10, David and I decided to start TTC for our first child. In July 2010, after moving to Durham, I went to an OBGYN and begged again to be tested. THANK GOODNESS she listened. After blood tests, my descriptions of the last eight years, and an ultrasound, she confirmed that I had PCOS and sent me to an RE. That was on 7.8.10.
My RE retested me and had another ultrasound done and reconfirmed my diagnosis of PCOS. He started me on Metformin ER (aka - Horse Pills) at 500 mg per day until I got to 1500 mg per day. That took only about 12 days. I was determined to get to the 1500 mg per day that my RE wanted - even though it made me sick most days. In September, I began taking progesterone tabs to induce a period along with the Metformin ER to help with my insulin and blood sugar. After a few months of no detectable ovulations, I began taking Clomid in November. After three unsuccessful cycles with no ovulation, I am where I am today.
On my next cycle (April), I will begin Clomid and Menopur injections along with my usual progesterone and Metformin ER.
In December 2010, I started a support group for ladies with PCOS in the Raleigh-Durham area. It has been great for me. Lots of support and inspiration - not to mention new friends!
Now, we are hoping for our miracle baby this year (well, pregnancy at least, as the baby will now be born in 2012).
I have a bachelor's degree in English, and I currently work as an international pharmaceutical broker for a specialty pharmacy. We moved to Durham, NC on 2.13.10.
So, here is my PCOS story. When I was 11 years old, I began getting a regular period cycle. Around the time I turned 16 (2000), I started to have an irregular period and unexplained weight gain. About two years later, I went to an OBGYN and told him the issues I was having. He put me on birth control and said the issues were normal and will probably work themselves out later. Knowing something was always wrong, I tried to get him to test me for a disorder every year. Despite begging for eight years, I was never tested for anything - just given birth control pills. On 2.21.10, David and I decided to start TTC for our first child. In July 2010, after moving to Durham, I went to an OBGYN and begged again to be tested. THANK GOODNESS she listened. After blood tests, my descriptions of the last eight years, and an ultrasound, she confirmed that I had PCOS and sent me to an RE. That was on 7.8.10.
My RE retested me and had another ultrasound done and reconfirmed my diagnosis of PCOS. He started me on Metformin ER (aka - Horse Pills) at 500 mg per day until I got to 1500 mg per day. That took only about 12 days. I was determined to get to the 1500 mg per day that my RE wanted - even though it made me sick most days. In September, I began taking progesterone tabs to induce a period along with the Metformin ER to help with my insulin and blood sugar. After a few months of no detectable ovulations, I began taking Clomid in November. After three unsuccessful cycles with no ovulation, I am where I am today.
On my next cycle (April), I will begin Clomid and Menopur injections along with my usual progesterone and Metformin ER.
In December 2010, I started a support group for ladies with PCOS in the Raleigh-Durham area. It has been great for me. Lots of support and inspiration - not to mention new friends!
Now, we are hoping for our miracle baby this year (well, pregnancy at least, as the baby will now be born in 2012).
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